Baby Born in Hospital

Baby Born in Hospital

HOSPITALE AK MOHILAR BABY HOCHHE, NURSE ASE BOLLO MAYE HOECHHE, ATA SUNE MOHILAR SASURI BOLLO ATODIN POR BABY TAO ABAR MAYE, ATA SUNE MOHILA BOLLO TAO TO HOECHHE APNAR CELER(SON) ASAI THAKLE TAO HOTO NA.

What do women do all day?

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and 20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, and so the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, break fast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys thrown over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and tooth paste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went..

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it..."

Nymphomaniac having sleeping problems

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.

"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."

"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"

Dirty Whale swimming with girlfriend

Willie the Whale and his whale girlfriend, Monica, are swimming happily through the ocean when they come upon a boat. On seeing the boat, Willie says, "Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's swim up under that boat and blow out really hard through our blowholes!"

Monica says, "Oh, I don't know..."

"Come on, it'll be fun, come on, just this once!", says Willie.

Monica agrees and they swim up under the boat and blow out, capsizing the boat and sending hapless sailors into the briny blue.

As they are swimming away, Willie says, "Wow, that was fun, wasn't it? Hey! I've got another idea! Let's swim back there and eat all the sailors!"

To which Monica, exasperated, replies, "Look, I agreed to the blow job, but I'm not swallowing any seamen."

Guy dies and finds himself in hell

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell!
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and Fresca... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy: Gee that sounds great!
Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You know it!
Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie- you're already dead, remember?
Guy: Wow...that's...awesome!
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why, yes I do.
Demon: Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well, you're dead anyhow.
Demon: You into drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean?...
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want; you're dead who cares! O.D.!!
Guy: WOW !! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!!
Demon: You gay?
Guy: No....
Demon: "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."

70 Ways to keep a woman happy

There are 70 ways to keep a woman happy.

One is to take her shopping.

The rest is 69.

Newest drugs following the success of Viagra

Newest drugs following the success of Viagra:

DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents."

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store's return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."

What is common between Sex and Shopping?

What is common between Sex and Shopping?

SEX and SHOPPING have one thing in common...
What..?
In both the cases, men start sweating in 15 minutes and women want to go on n on n on.....!!

Jab Tak Choot Pe Lund Dhare Koi...

Jab Tak Choot Pe Lund Dhare Koi...

Jab tak choot pe lund naa dhare koi
Aise pyaar muhabbat ko Kya kare koi

Lund ho mota lamba taaza toh choot bhi Dasi
Chota dheela ho toh reh jati hai choot hi piyasi
Aise mein pyaar ka dam kiya bhare koi

Nain naqs hoon khoobsorat gudraya badan
Haq hai mile un ko mota pala playa Lund
Tu har waqt kyun naa muskarya kare koi

Aur jo niklein Khudanakhasta naseeb khote
Shaadi unse ho jin ke lund hoon piplay chote
Phir hamsay ko bhai keh kar bulaya kare koi

Chudne se pehle jo karein pyaari batein
Dein biviun ko apne boson ki sughatein
Kaise nah unse pyaar jitaya kare koi

Aur phir jo karein chudaai tikaa kar
Andar baher karein injar pinjar hila kar
Dasi ban ke kaise nah unki sewa kiya kare koi

Ho jate hein jo do chaar jhatkon mein Khalaas
Unko hota nahein doosron ke jazbaat ka paas
Aise mein kaise thandi aah nah bharein kare koi

Pyaar mast chudai ka hi doosra naam hai
Jin ka ho kaam accha, unko chooton ka salaam hain
Kaash har kissi ko khushiyan diya kare koi..

Guy going to church only on Christmas and Easter

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the vicar was standing at the door, as he always was, to shake hands with the worshipers. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The vicar said to him, "You need to join the army of the Lord."

My friend replied, "I'm already in the army of the Lord, Father."

So the vicar enquired, "Then how come I don't see you except at Christmas and at Easter?"

My friend whispered back, "I'm in the secret service." 

Polish guy ordering drink for lesbian

A polish man is sitting at a bar having a few drinks when he notices a very attractive lady sit down at the other end of the bar and order a drink.
The polish guy calls the bartender over and says "whatever she is drinking give her another one and tell her it is on me."
The bartender replies "I don't think you want to do that."
"What do you mean?" yells the polish guy, "Send her the drink!"
"O.K." the bartender replies, "but I don't think it is a good idea."
"And why not?" asks the polish guy.
The bartender leans over the bar and very softly says "because she's a lesbian."
"I don't care, send her the drink." says the polish guy.
So after the lady gets her drink the polish guy very casually strolls down to the other end of the bar and sits down next to her and says, "so what part of Lesbia are you from?"

People Luffing time

Some people think why people luffing....